Like Being Hit By A Car
by AMPitUp
Summary: Filling the Prompt from totemokirei on livejournal Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentional
1. Chapter 1

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (1/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei on livejournal Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

A/N: I said I would try. I just hope I can get it right.

Part 1

_This sucks._ I think for the hundredth time. Tears are spilling from my eyes without my consent. My heart is broken and battered. The love of my life, sweet innocent Brittany, just told me that she was only pretending to love me back. All our not so secret, secret relationship meant nothing. All the lies we told others were to her truths. She continued because she didn't want to lose me as a friend. She continued because she didn't think she could have the one she really loves._ QUINN FUCKING FABRAY! She is choosing QUINN over ME. I was just what she was willing to settle for. Her second place. Everyone's second choice. _

My tears are obstructing my vision. I should slow down. A reasonable person would slow down. Then again I've not really in a reasonable state of mind. I wipe my eyes for the millionth time. My eyes are clear for a second that second isn't enough. I slam my brakes.

I hear and feel as my car slams into the person I was trying to avoid. _FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!_ I say over and over again as I tare my seatbelt away and run from my car. On the ground is my worst nightmare. A person covered in blood and slightly mangled. I whip out my phone and call 911, as I approach the body. The dispatcher answers and I give them the street and everything. I see the faint movement that signifies that whoever it is breathing. I get closer and the person rolls over. I feel like someone hit me with lightning.

I hear a siren in the distance, ass I fall to my knees in front of a bloody Rachel Berry. _Fuck! This is sooooo not good._ I move to pull Rachel's head to rest on my lap hoping it will help. Praying to a god I lost faith in long ago that everything will be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (2/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

A/N: Sorry finals are coming and I have many papers due.

Part 2

I stare in the mirror trying to see the girl I was a month ago. I'm looking for any sign of the strength, power, confidence, which used to reside in my eyes and posture. All I see is exhaustion and pain. In one month I've gone from HBIC to the crazy girl who tries to kill people with her car. Luckily both titles make people too afraid to slushy me. After all you don't want to end up like Rachel Berry; broken and having to get ready to prepare for physical therapy in order to relearn how to walk.

I feel the now familiar wetness of tears on my skin. There really is no point trying to hide them. I'm alone in my bathroom. My parents are downstairs pretending nothing's wrong. I wish I could join them in their fantasy world where their daughter didn't just hit someone with her car and just barely escape murder charges thanks to an indecisive jury, let alone hit the daughter of the only openly gay couple in Lima. Thank god I just came out, or else they would have tried to call it a hate crime.

I wish it had never happened. I wish I had been paying attention to the road. I wish I would have pulled over when the tears started falling. I wish someone would believe that it was an accident and that I never intended to hurt anyone. Not even B believes me. She is too wrapped up in Q to care that I'm telling the truth. Coach kicked me off the Cheerio's. Not because I almost killed someone, but because I was 'stupid enough to get caught. The glee kids refuse to acknowledge me, let alone let me anywhere near Rachel. I tried to apologize, to explain what really happened. The girl who forgives all and believes in the good of people, the girl who is a firm believer in giving second, third even forth chances, refuses to believe me. No one believes me, no one cares.

My life is hell. Despite getting off, despite a jury saying I'm innocent, I have no one to talk to, no one to touch. People still part like the red sea in fear, but now it's afraid for their lives not their popularity. I go to school and come home. I am an untouchable, a social outcast.

I sigh and look back to what I was doing. My once flawless skin is now marred with scars. Everything hurts so much inside. Q is walking around with the girl that is supposed to be mine. No one acknowledges my existence. Even the teachers avoid me if possible. The only release I have found from the ach in my chest, where my heart should be, is from the burn of steal against my wrists. I never cut deep enough to kill, just enough to bleed, although I doubt anyone would care if I did slip and cut too deep.

I smile as I watch my blood flow down my arm. Pain is penance. A good catholic knows that bad deeds must be punished, even if done on accident. I hurt Rachel. I now bleed for a crime that I didn't mean to commit. I will serve my penance and seek redemption. I watch the blood flow and hope that this pain will help motivate me. I pray for forgiveness. It was an accident. It was my fault. With my blood I pay for my sin.

(*(*(*(

I wake up to sunlight coming through my window. I take a deep breath before I force myself to get up and get dressed. Jeans, a long sleeve navy shirt and sneakers are my new armor. I went from bright red to dark blue.

I walk downstairs with my messenger bag. My mom is waiting to take me to school. Ever since the accident my license has been suspended. I might be allowed to get it back in six months. I'm not sure I want to.

I skip breakfast. I eat less now than I did on cheerio weigh in days. My mom doesn't say anything, just pretends not to notice. She drives me to school. We don't talk. I don't speak anymore. It's not like anyone believes a word I say anymore.

I walk into school and straight to my locker. Q and B are nearby today. I watch out of the corner of my eye as Q says something that makes B laugh. That used to be my job. I squeeze my eyes shut and turn around. I shut my locker and make it to the nearest bathroom. I freeze when I realize who else is already in here. Dark brown eyes, that once held warmth are now pinning me to the door with their ice.

"Rachel," I croak out at the little diva. She looks so broken in the wheel chair she is now forced to use. There is faint scar over her left eye. I try and say something, anything, but nothing comes out.

I turn around, intending to escape but am stopped when I hear her voice. "That's it. You're just going to walk away. Can't look at your handiwork."

I take a deep breath before turning around. "I didn't mean to do this. I was upset and I didn't see you." I ramble, feeling the need to explain.

"Save it," Rachel half growls, cutting me off. "I don't care. You almost killed me. I might never be able to dance again. Are you happy now? I'm going to be a Lima Loser just like you."

I look at Rachel with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been driving. It was an accident." I watch as Rachel starts to roll past me. In a desperately try and stop her, grabbing onto the back of the wheel chair. "You believed me once, at sectionals. Why can't you believe me now?"

Rachel turns around and looks at me with pure ice in her eyes. She glares at my hand until I let go. "Why should I?" with that she rolls away, leaving me in the bathroom, trying to find an answer to her question.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (3/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

Disclaimer: I just realized that I forgot to add this before but in case there was any doubt I own nothing.

A/n: I don't own the song is Love the Fall by Michale Paytnter ft the Veronicas

Part 3

Rachel's POV

When I was little the world was mine. I could fall and know that dad and daddy would always be there to catch me. I have lived my life knowing that every experience, every step, every breath was taken in preparation for my future. My dad and daddy would always be there. I was to be a star. My name was to be in lights. Best of all my dads would finally be there.

I love my dads I do. Raising a child clearly destined for the greatness that I always believed I was meant for couldn't have been easy. My dads were always there to catch me when I was little. As I got older and started middle school I noticed that my daddy had to work a lot more and my dad wasn't home. I noticed a distancing. I naively thought that they were finally giving me the space I so desperately craved. When I entered high school I finally learned the truth. My dads never loved me, they loved the idea of me. Just like my mother didn't love me, but the idea of a baby. My boyfriends were the same way.

I learned the truth after my first slushy facial. My dads weren't there to catch me. They saw the slushy stains and every slushy stain since and simply ignored it. I pushed myself harder after that. I worked harder to be the star that I saw myself as in my dreams. The girl with talent, beauty and most importantly love from her parents. I will even admit to becoming obsessive.

Now I wake up every morning knowing that that dream will never happen. Santana Lopez killed my dream as surely as she almost killed me. I am in a wheel chair. I will have to start physical therapy soon. I may never be able to dance again. My body is scared and broken and yet it is nowhere near as broken as my heart. Sure everyone is being nice. I have people wanting to be my friend. I have people who want to talk to me. I no longer have to deal with the slushy facials. And it means nothing. I can't be a star. My parents will never love me. Even after I almost died they still aren't here. It makes me wonder if they ever would have been

Right now I'm in the cafeteria. The glee kids all are around me. I have all these people who normally can't stand me sitting and trying to get me to eat. I'm grateful, I am. I just wish they would quit smothering me. I sigh and push away from the table.

"Rachel?" I try and stifle another sigh as I hear Quinn say my name. Quinn who I swear has a sixth sense of her own. Quinn whose arms I found myself breaking down in when I realized that my dads would never love me. Quinn who is now my most loyal friend and body guard. " Are you okay? Are you going somewhere? Do you want me to come with you?"

I force myself to smile as I shake my head. "I am fine Quinn. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I am just going to the restroom. You stay here with the others."

Quinn nods as she turns back to the others, mainly Brittany, her now girlfriend. I am glad they are together. I would much rather have her with Quinn who I know loves her then with Santana who only used her for sex.

I slowly make my way out of the cafeteria, but instead of heading towards the restrooms I make my way to the auditorium. I stop myself at the door when I hear a familiar voice. I slowly push my way inside. I feel shocked to see the girl responsible for my current predicament on stage, singing her heart out. A heart until this moment I was sure she didn't posses.

I remember the time  
When I was searching my mind  
Just to find out if  
I'd ever define who I am  
Could I ever afford  
To consider being bought?  
I was sure that I saw  
All the world but I keep wishing for more  
So I keep checking my direction  
Watching my own reflection  
Am I still still in connection  
With the way I wanna be?  
Did I behave  
Cause i've been stuck here for days  
I'm in a daze  
Had a chance to be the saviour  
But I through it away 

I feel shock at the lyrics. It's almost as if she is singing about my own life. I know I shouldn't stay. It's not sane. It's not safe. The girl hit me with a car. I just can't turn away.

So what if I dive off the edge of my life  
And there's nothing beneath?  
What if i live like there's nothing to lose  
Just to die on my knees?  
At least I'll know  
I walked the dark  
I took the scars  
I risked it all  
And learned to love the fall

I could never say how it hurts  
To feel the worst  
I never make it even though I rehearse  
But I wont that be type of girl  
That never tried  
That never took a chance or took her  
Moment to fly, to be free  
You may be of the opinion  
That I'm making the wrong decision

I find the part of me, that slim part of me that could never be able to ignore someone in pain, urging me forward. I stop myself. Force myself not move towards the heartache in Santana's voice. I force myself to stay, but can't force myself to leave.

That I'm giving up the chance  
To live my life with your vision  
But I can't give up  
I won't give up  
Until you see that OK is never ever enough

So what if I dive off the edge of my life  
And there's nothing beneath?  
What if i live like there's nothing to lose  
Just to die on my knees?  
At least I'll know  
I walked the dark  
I took the scars  
I risked it all  
And learned to love the fall

I'm here  
My hands are cold  
My heart is racing  
Yeah  
The only fear is fear of failing

So what if I dive off the edge of my life  
And there's nothing beneath?  
What if i live like there's nothing to lose  
Just to die on my knees?  
At least I'll know  
I walked the dark  
I took the scars  
I risked it all  
And learned to love the fall

I watch as Santana ends her song and falls to the ground sobbing. I feel something in me, something more than my natural empathy and need to help others, pull at me. I want to go towards her. I want to make her feel better, make the tears go away. That's crazy. She is the reason I'm stuck like this. She did this to me. Why should I care?

I force myself to turn around and leave Santana to her pain. The entire time I can't help but feel like what I'm doing is wrong. What if she's telling the truth? What if everyone else is wrong? What if it was an accident?

I shake my head. No, that's not right. Even Brittany thinks she did it on purpose. I think she does anyway. I mean she hasn't said she believes she did it but she's not talking to Santana so she must. I sigh as I make my way away from the auditorium and the girl who has put me in this nightmare.

My head hurts. I'm confused. My head is telling me that Santana did this to me, but my heart. My heart wonders if maybe my head is wrong. My heart is asking how someone could sing with so much heart, and yet be so heartless as to run someone over with a car.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (3/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

Disclaimer: I just realized that I forgot to add this before but in case there was any doubt I own nothing.

A/N: Thank you for your reviews they mean the world to me

Part 4

Rachel's POV

This is ridicules. I think for what has to be the hundredth time today as my eyes fall on the girl that has been preoccupying my thoughts for a week now. I can't help but watch the once feisty Latina. Ever since that day in the auditorium I can't get her out of my head. I can't get the feeling that I should have stayed out of my head.

I physically shake myself again and try and focus on whatever the teacher is saying. I am able to force myself to pay attention for all of three seconds before my eyes and mind once more move back to their previous position.

I can't help but feel a little sorry for the girl. Where once the proud and fearless girl who paraded around this school as if she owned it sat, now an empty broken shell of a person who seems on the edge of giving up slouches. I should be angry. I should be spiteful and say how she deserves it. She deserves to be broken after what she did to me. But I can't. I can't help the little tug at my heart that I feel when I think back to her voice and her tears.

I have been thinking about why. I have been trying to figure out why I can't let go of the image. I have been trying to figure out why I feel this need to be near me. It's like she is as broken as I am so I am drawn to her, but I can't be. It's not right.

I look back over at the broken girl as the bell rings. I watch as she silently gets up to leave. I can't help it. I know she did this to me. I know I have every right to hate her. I have no responsibility to help at all. I have also come to the conclusion that I wouldn't be Rachel Berry it I didn't try and reach out when someone was hurting, whether they hurt me or not. I reached out to Kurt, and he hurt me on a daily basis. I reached out to Quinn and she started the 'Let's hate Rachel' campaign. What makes Santana any different?

"Santana!" I yell as I see her start to walk away. I watch as she freezes, as everyone freezes, when I call her name. She turns around, looking at me, preparing herself the same way I used to have to prepare before a slushy attack. "Come here." I say inn my best no nonsense voice.

I watch as Santana takes a deep breath before walking towards me slowly. She moves as if afraid. Isn't that an odd concept? The great and mighty Santana Lopez, afraid of Rachel Berry. She reaches me and looks down at me, her eyes… I have seen eyes like hers. I've seen the same emotion, or rather lack of emotion, in my own."Yes?" she asks quietly, as if shes afraid to raise her voice, or speak at all.

"You're coming with me." I stay sternly.

"Where are we going?" she asks in that same timid voice.

"To the choir room." I answer simply, before gathering my books. Santana waits next to me silently. The other kids are pretending to not watch our exchange. Even the teacher is pretending to not notice. They are all probably thinking that I've lost my mind. They could very well be right. I just can't help it. I can't sit idly by an watch someone suffer. Even the person responsible for my own.

(*(*(*(

Santana and I are now sitting quietly in the choir room. This is the first time we have ever been alone together. Even before we always had another person in the room with us. I watch as she fiddles with the hem of her shirt. Neither of us have said a word. We just sit there. Finally I take a deep breath and mentally prepair myself for what I'm about to do.

"I don't trust you." Santana winces at my words. She goes to say somethingbut I cut her off with a look. "No. You are going to listen." Santana nods meekly. She doesn't even try and fight. "I don't trust, but I'm tired. I'm tired of being angery. Also I see that you are hurting just as much as I am. I am going to give you one chance and only one chance. You are going to come back to Glee. I will deal with the others. I am going to give you a chance to make things up to me. I can't dance anymore." I watch as she flinches agin at that statement. " Finn is hopeless. We need you. Quinn and Brittany are brilliant but we need you to. You come back to Glee and I will contemplate possibly, someday, maybe not hating you. Deal?"

Santana looks speechless. I watch as she thinks it over before she nods. "Deal." She whispers. I nod and we go back to our awkward silence. Her lost in her thoughts and me lost in thoughts on how to get the rest of the club to let her back in.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (5/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

Disclaimer: I just realized that I forgot to add this before but in case there was any doubt I own nothing.

Part 5:

Santana's POV

Today sucks. I thought, hoped, after Rachel told me she would forgive me, that things would be better. So far everything has been worse. I never thought I would miss being ignored. Rachel made me wait with her for the rest of the glee club. As I predicted they were pissed. My ears are still ringing. The only person not yelling in protest was B. She just stood there quietly and looked down at her feet.

In the end Rachel won. The others had no choice but to listen. After all she is the one that was hit with my car, not them. It doesn't mean they are going to let things go. I have been pushed to my limit. As much as I want my friends back I am wondering if taking their abuse is really worth it.

I move to the bathroom and to the sinks to splash water on my face. I'm hoping the water cools my temper. I keep thinking over and over why I'm doing this, desperately holding on to some thread of sanity. I need to make things up to Rachel. I hit her with my freaking car. The least I can do is go back to glee like she asked me to. Maybe, if she can forgive me B can to. I have to get B to talk to me again. She is meant to be with me not Quinn. The only way to get her back is to make things up to B.

I'm not paying attention to what's going on around me. The school is empty so I don't think twice about pushing up my sleeves so as not to get them wet. I am bent over and splashing water over my face. I don't realize that someone else has come inside until I hear three gasps.

I turn around and come face to face with a one pair of brown, one pair of hazel and one pair of blue eyes. I feel my heart thudding as I follow the three girls' gazes. I feel myself freeze as I realize they're looking at my currently bared and scared arms. I snap out of it quickly before pulling my sleeves back down.

I gather all the bravado I can muster before looking back at Quinn, B and Rachel. "what are you looking at? Don't you have better things to do? Glee is about to start." I move to march past them. I feel a slender hand capture my wrist before I can leave. I look to see that B has moved to stop me. I don't know why, but that pisses me off. I love her I do, but what right does she have to be concerned now. She chose Quinn. She chose to believe the others instead of me. I try to pull away, but she refuses to let go. I try and glare her down, but she remains unfazed.

"Will you two leave us alone for a second? I think Santana and I have to talk." Rachel and Quinn can only nod in surprise at the normally ditzy cheerleaders tone. After Quinn and Rachel have left B finally lets me go. After a long silence she finally opens her mouth and says something. "Santana, she looks down at my now covered arms then back to me eyes. "Why?"

A/N: that's all I am able to right today, sorry homework. Coming next is a big confrontation. You learn something important about why Brittany has been acting as she has.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (5b/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

Disclaimer: I just realized that I forgot to add this before but in case there was any doubt I own nothing.

A/N: sorry for the delay I had a paper and some homework. Here is the rest of part %. Also don't worry we will get to the goodness that is pezberry.

Part 5b

I gather all the bravado I can muster before looking back at Quinn, B and Rachel. "What are you looking at? Don't you have better things to do? Glee is about to start." I move to march past them. I feel a slender hand capture my wrist before I can leave. I look to see that B has moved to stop me. I don't know why, but that pisses me off. I love her I do, but what right does she have to be concerned now. She chose Quinn. She chose to believe the others instead of me. I try to pull away, but she refuses to let go. I try and glare her down, but she remains unfazed.

"Will you two leave us alone for a second? I think Santana and I have to talk." Rachel and Quinn can only nod in surprise at the normally ditzy cheerleaders tone. After Quinn and Rachel have left B finally lets me go. After a long silence she finally opens her mouth and says something. "Santana, she looks down at my now covered arms then back to me eyes. "Why?"

I look at Brittany in disbelief. I feel myself begin to explode and I can't stop the words that come. "Really B? Really? You can't honestly figure out why I would pick cutting my wrists, over… what? What other option do I have?" I feel all my anger, resentment and pain leaking out. I see B wince but I don't care I keep going. What does it matter anyway? "You think I'm going to talk it out? Or better yet hug it out? This is the real world B. WE live in the real world and here I have no one to talk to or hug."

"You have me." Her voice is small and if it had been anyother time before the accident, any other time before she took my heart and destroyed it by choosing Quinn over me like everyone else does I would have stopped to reassure her. This isn't then. This is now and her voice, her complete inability to see things for how they are is pissing me off.

"No I don't. You didn't want me remember. You like everyone else chose Quinn. You, who should know me better than everyone else should know that I would never have tried to purposely try and kill Rachel and yet you went with them. Why B? Why did you choose to believe everyone else when you know me?" I can feel the tears, feel as my voice cracks with all the pent up emotions.

"Because that's what you told me to do." Her voice is small and confused.

"What!"

"You told me that popularity is everything. You said that I had to do everything I had to do to stay popular. The way to stay popular is to pretend to believe what everyone else thinks is true, even when I don't think it is." She says the words I have recited to her over and over. I have been hurting, dying inside because I taught her to well.

I move my mouth to open a few times before I am finally able to form any words. "What?"

"I was just doing as you told me. I was staying popular and…" she trails off before taking a breath, "It is easier to be popular if people believe it's your fault, even if really it's mine."

I'm looking at Brittany as if she had grown a second head. "Your…how..I don't." I can't even form coherent sentences.

"It's my fault that you hit Rachel. I made you sad. Then you left and were crying. If you hadn't been sad then Rachel wouldn't be hurt. It's my fault even if Quinn says it's not." She states it so simply.

I just look at her and shake my head. A part of me wants to latch on and blame her. I would have noticed Rachel if I hadn't been upset. None of this would have happened if I hadn't told her I love her. "B, you didn't…I shouldn't have been driving. You didn't do anything wrong." I can't help but try and make her feel better. My anger is gone and replaced with my need to make B realize she isn't at fault.

Brittany for her part just nods. "That's what Q says. She says that you did it on purpose because Rachel and I are friends and you wanted to hurt her to hurt me." I shake my head; of course Quinn would say that. It's something she would do. Hurt the ones that the one who hurt you love in order to hurt them.

I feel B reach out to touch me. I flinch away as she tries to touch my wrists. "This is my fault to. You are hurting yourself because of me."

I sigh and pull away. "No B. I'm doing this because I need to feel something other then what I feel right now."

B looks at me confused before nodding. "Like Rachel. She sings so she can feel the emotion of the song instead of everything else." She smiles brightly at putting the two things together. I'm just blown away that she understands at all. I love the girl, but she isn't so bright.

"Yes B, like Rachel." I say simply. Feeling awkward and exposed I go to leave. "Come on B we have practice." Brittany just nods and we head to glee.

Once we get there she bounces over to Rachel and Quinn, hugging and kissing the latter. I just go to my lonely corner. I notice Rachel watching me out of the corner of my eye. I can't figure out what the expression on her face is. I'm just thankful it isn't the anger it has been, or worse pity.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (6/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

Disclaimer: I just realized that I forgot to add this before but in case there was any doubt I own nothing.

Warning: This story has triggers.

A/n: Sorry for the late update. Finals suck. Just two more weeks. Also tonights glee made me want to kill Shue, go aww at Brittany and Artie (they are growing on me), jump for joy that Finn and Rachel broke up. I know it was a bad way to and stuff but I didn't want them together fir reasons of hating Finn.

Part 6

Rachel's POV

I feel like James Bond. I don't the one from those movies, although the one played by Sir Roger George Moore did a much better job than that Sean Connery and made it almost worth watching. I mean the books that where originally written by Ian Fleming. Anyway the point is I feel like Mr. Bond, if he was stuck in a wheel chair and forced to follow and spy on his target. Considering that my target hasn't seemed to catch on yet I assume I am doing a better job even then Mr. Bond.

I roll to the side and pull out my music book trying to seem discreet. After all it wouldn't do for anyone, let alone Santana to know I am following her. The others might think I'm stalking her, which of course is completely untrue. I am simply curious about how she walks with shoes that are clearly supposed to be laces but now do not.

I shake my head. That even sounded unconvincing to myself. The truth is I'm worried. Just because she hit me with her car and I am now in a wheelchair and all my hopes of dancing on Broadway now lie in the hands of a physical therapist who has no concept of his own incompetence, does not mean that I want her hurting herself. In the beginning, I wanted her to hurt yes. I might even held notions of somehow pushing her in front of a moving bus. That does not mean that I still harbor such thoughts of violence. I also feel curiosity over the fact that she chose this particular method to try an assuage, what I assume is guilt, over her act.

I am watching as she shuffles through her books in her locker before sighing. She turns around and after another long sigh turns. I feel panic take over as she starts to come over.

"Do you need any help?" she asks

I feel speechless at this offer. I was sure she was coming over to confront me on watching her. I can only shake my head mutely as I look up at her and for the first time I do actually look. I see the circles under her eyes and the sadness and pain she is obviously trying to hide.

She tilts her head as if studying me as well before nodding. She reaches out and picks up my books and bag from my lap. I see the first semblance of a smile I have seen in a while at, what must be a very amusing, imitation I am doing of a fish. "I know. You don't need help. I've heard you tell the others a hundred times. I just figure, I'm the reason you're stuck in that thing, I might as make it easier for you to roll yourself in it by taking some of the weight. Besides we're both headed to the same place anyway." I feel a smile tug at my lips. Who knew that Santana Lopez rambled? "Besides the best super spies are the ones who gather dirt by gaining the enemy's trust." She smirks as my mouth falls open.

"What makes you think I was spying? I was simply enjoying reading my music." I try and cover as she lets out a sound I have not heard since this whole mess started.

"Of course you were. You were reading in the middle of the hallway, wherever I was, all day, while just happening to humming 'Secret Agent Man' under your breath." She snorts as she continues walking caring both of our books as we head to glee.

I try and tame my blush at being caught. "Of course I was humming that song. It is a great song to hum to help loosen my vocal chords up before practice."

"Of course 007. I completely believe you." She says in a faux innocent voice. I can't help but laugh. I feel myself stop in my tracks as I realize that I am talking to the girl who put me in this chair, not just talking but joking with. I am more surprised by how not wrong it feels. I know I said I would give her a chance, but I didn't think that would mean I would ever speak with her in such a manner ever. "You okay?" I look up into concerned black/brown eyes.

I nod. "Yeah I'm fine. I just realized something that I didn't think was possible." She tilts her head and looks at me for a moment then nods. I feel relieved she doesn't push. I find myself not wanting to hurt her. I don't understand. All I wanted was to hurt her and now, with one pain filled song and a glance at scared skin, that is the last thing I want to do. I spend glee pondering over all these confusing thoughts.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (7/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

Disclaimer: I just realized that I forgot to add this before but in case there was any doubt I own nothing.

Warning: This story has triggers.

A/n: Sorry for the late update. I ended finals and then my brain died. It is still pretty dead so I'm not promising greatness but I wanted to give you something. The songs are by superchick. They are Stand in the Rain and Hero. I recommend listening to them they are really good in my opinon.

Part 7

Santana's POV

I look up at the sky and sigh. Its dark and broody just like me. It's going to start raining soon. I should go back home, but I just can't. I can't make myself go back to that house. It's four walls and a roof full of disappointment and regret. I am sitting here, alone at Lima's park. I am wearing sneakers, a long sleeve shirt and jeans. That's it. I should put a coat or sweatshirt on. It's the end of freaking November. To be more accurate it's thanksgiving.

I should be at home, pretending that life is good. It's not. It's better, but I am positive it will never be good again. Rachel is giving me a chance to make up for what I've done. B is talking to me again. Hell, even Quinn is being semi nice. I have a suspicion that is more Rachel and B's doing than anything else. I think she is being coerced by B's pout and Rachel's puppy dog eyes.

I close my eyes as I feel the first drop of rain hit my face followed by another and another. Soon I am soaked and shivering and I just can't bring myself to care. I let the rain wash over me. I let it cleanse me of my mistakes. I search for absolution or something equally dramatic. I chuckle at that thought. I have been spending way to much time with Rachel and her special kind of crazy.

Thoughts of Rachel fade back to thoughts of the reality of why I'm out here, in the ice rain on Thanksgiving Day. I try and fight back the tears that have been threatening to fall all day. I can't help replay over and over in my mind the news. The one and only person who has ever believed me unquestioningly is dead. As alone and hurt as I have been, as much as I keep thinking I'm completely alone, I have still had this person. My mother's mom. My abuelita.

Even when I felt all alone an wanted to give up I knew deep in my heart I had her. Now she's gone. She had a bad heart and finally it just stopped. She was why I never cut deep enough to bleed to death and now she's gone. I wonder who will care now. At this point I am fairly sure that my parents will be relived to be rid of me. Quinn won't have to put up with me. B might be sad for a second but I am sure Quinn will be more then willing to be a distraction. Rachel… I'm not sure what Rachel will feel. I know that once upon a time she would have cheered to have me gone, but now, now I'm not so sure.

I try and distract myself from my morbid thoughts. I wish I could just wipe them all away with a song. For some reason this thought, while highly disturbing in how completely dorky it is, appeals to me. I look around to and make sure no one else is around. Just because I am willing to indulge my inner gleek's need to sing away my pain doesn't mean I want anyone else to hear me.

I take a deep breath then let it go as I search for the perfect song. Once again I can't help but think I have spent way to much time around Rachel in my effort to make things right. I take another deep breath and begin to sing.

She never slows down.  
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down  
She won't turn around  
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down  
I am fighting myself. I don't want to cry. I am so tired. I have cried enough tears to last a life time. I don't want to start crying again because I am afraid that eventually I won't be able to stop them.

So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found  
You stand in the rain

I stand from the bench that I'm sitting on as I sing the chorus. I can feel the power in those words. I can feel my abuelita's strength wash over me. I am her granddaughter more then I will ever be my parent's child. She has taught me how to be strong. I will find that strength that I lost again. I can live through this pain. She would be so disappointed if I just gave up.

She won't make a sound  
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down  
She wants to be found  
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down. 

I am so tired of hurting. I know I have done so many people wrong. I know that I should pay for my mistakes. It's so hard. I want to just go to sleep and never wake up, but I can't do that. I have to be strong.

So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found  
You stand in the rain

I feel this strength, this presence surrounding me. As the rain falls down and washes everything away it also leaves something behind. It's as if it is giving me what I need to continue.

So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found  
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
Stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found

So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found  
You stand in the rain

After the last note leaves me, I also feel something else leave me. I also feel this odd sense of peace take over. I look around the world with new sight. I wonder if this is why Rachel is always singing. I wonder if this is what she feels after she has let out her emotions through music. I take one last look around before finally heading home.

Later that night, after it has stopped raining I look up at the sky from my bedroom window. The stars are shining and the moon is full. I fall asleep under my window, looking at the sky. My dreams are filled with a gold star singing Broadway and my abuelita telling me that I am a moon and I belong in the sky with the star.

(*(*(*(*(*(*(

I am sitting, waiting for glee to start. The rest of my thanksgiving break went the way I thought it would. It was hard. My parents talking funeral arrangements and I was hiding in my room or at the park unable to deal. All that hiding did give me an idea for glee though. Our assignmet was for us to sing about what we see.. I have been though the heaven of being on top and the hell of being on the bottom. This has given me a unique perspective. It also has allowed me to understand Quinn more, as crazy as that sounds.

Mr. Shue is walking in, late as usual. Everyone settles down and he asks for a volunteer to sing for the assignment. I know I shock everyone when I raise my hand. I feel a this strange feeling when I notice that Rachel seems happy that I am trying. I quickly push it down as I walk to the front and give the band my music and then look out at everyone.

The music starts and I take one last breath, Rachel's voice about breathing being important stuck in my head as I begin to sing.

No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in,  
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him,  
'Cause you want to belong, do you go along?  
'Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong  
It's not like you hate him or want him to die,  
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide,  
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side,  
Any kindness from you might have saved his life

I finish the first part thinking about all the kids I have ever picked on, everyone I have ever hurt. I especially think of Rachel. She could have easily snapped and done something from all the bullying. I am thankful she hasn't. I am thankful that my need to belong to be on top didn't cause anyone to snap and hurt others.

You could be a hero,  
Heroes do what's right,  
You could be a hero,  
You might save a life,  
You could be a hero, you could join the fight,  
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right...

I finish the chorus and notice the surprise in everyone's eyes. I also notice the shame of the others in the room who, like me, hurt others just to be on top. I also silently promised to myself that I was going to be better. I was going to honor my abuelita and start doing what was right. I am going to fight. I steady myself for the next part. I had planned this over the weekend. I gathered up all my courage for the next part of the song. What I was about to do would not only take all my courage, but I hope would also let others know that they're not alone, even if it's only someone else in this room. I want them to know that I know what it's like to hurt to and that I am here for them now, even though I wasn't before.

No one talks to her, she feels so alone,  
She's in too much pain to survive on her own,  
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife,

I begin rolling up my sleeve. I can see the others faces.

She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life,

The others are completely still as I continue to sing as well as I show them my scars. I hope that they understand. I need them to understand. I am doing this; I am revealing myself to them, so that they will know that I understand. That I know what it's like now.

Each day she goes on is a day that she is brave,  
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,  
Each moment of courage her own life she saves,  
When she throws the pills out, a hero is made...

I feel shocked when I happen to glance over at Quinn. She is crying and I can't understand why.

You could be a hero,  
Heroes do what's right,  
You could be a hero,  
You might save a life,  
You could be a hero, you could join the fight,  
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right...

After repeating the chorus again I feel my resolve to do right strengthen.

No one talks to him about how he lives,  
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his,  
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves,  
And others will follow the choices he's made,  
He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide,  
His brother who wants to be him is just nine,  
He can do what he wants because it's his right,  
The choices he makes change a nine-year-old's life...

I look at Puck when I sing this last part. I know how close he is with his sister. I also know how much the little girl looks up to her big brother. I hope he sees what hes doing and how it affects her.

You could be a hero,  
Heroes do what's right,  
You could be a hero,  
You might save a life,  
You could be a hero, you could join the fight,  
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right...

The room is drowned in silence after I finish. I lower my head and open my mouth, suddenly feeling like I should explain something. Before I can say a word I feel a body and arms wrapping around me. I am shocked to realize its Quinn. She is hugging me for the first time since we were little.

"I want to talk to you. " She says into my hear. She pulls back and looks at me. "Later." She says before I can say a word. "There are some things we need to talk about." I can only nod.

I feel someone tugging on my hand and look down. Quinn is stepping away as I look down into beautiful brown eyes. I try not to dwell on the thought that I have started to use words like beautiful, breathtaking, amazing, to describe the owner of said eyes. She is smiling up at me.

"I'm proud of you." I feel my heart clench, in the good way, at those words. I have been trying so hard to make things right. I have so much to make up for. Those words utter by Rachel means more to me than anything right now.

"Thank you." I reply gruffly, fighting tears as all my emotions try to come to the surface. I feel that same weird vibe I felt at the park come over me. That feeling of strength and peace. I can't help that maybe I was wrong when I thought things might be able to be good again. I look into Rachel's smiling eyes, eyes that hold true forgiveness as well as and understanding, and I don't just think, I know. Things will be good again.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (8/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

Disclaimer: I just realized that I forgot to add this before but in case there was any doubt I own nothing.

Warning: This story has triggers.

A/N: Hi Sorry once again for the late update. You would think without school I would have more time. I hope everyone likes this part and thank you to everyone who has been reviewing.

Part 8

**Rachel's POV**

I've been watching her for what feels like hours, days, weeks, months, years. For years I thought I knew her. She was second in charge for the army of persecutors. She was the one who did the captain and queens bidding. She made sure that I knew that I was one of the nobodies and she was one of the elite someones.

Now I look at her with eyes open to the truth. Now I see the girl behind the mask. The girl she is revealing herself as is so much more than the villain I was so sure she was meant to be cast as. I see now that she isn't the villain at all but the hero that for so long had to hide behind a cloak made of malicious actions and sinister seeming intentions. She isn't hiding anymore. It's almost as if the accident acted as a wakeup call, showing her the error of her ways. Now that she is free of the chains that society has used for so long to keep her in the role they thought she should have been she is free to be the girl she really is. She is fighting against everything her and the red regalia that she had once worn represents. She is showing herself to be the type of heroine that even the great Barbra would be willing to play. She is showing herself to be the type of person that I could fall for.

I sigh as I watch her at her locker down the hall. I don't know what to do. The more of the real Santana I see the more I find myself needing to be near her. The closer I get the more I learn. She is so much more than anything I had dreamed up as my leading man could have ever been. She is sweet and helpful and always there if any of us in glee need her. She is even helping me with my physical therapy so that I will be able to walk again. My own father's haven't even really been there when it comes to that, always too busy to care about their now crippled daughter.

She has become everything I want and everything I need and now I have that song in my head. While it is an excellent song I would have preferred something that is a little happier and where the person singing gets the person they're pining for.

**Santana's POV**

Ever since I sang that song in glee I have felt different, stronger I guess. I went home and through away all my blades. I won't say it's not hard, but the more I thought about it the more I realized I was tired of being this person I had become. I want to be strong. I want to be brave and try and get better. It helps that I have people to talk to.

Quinn and I finally talked. That conversation was more than eye opening. I can't say that we are best friends or really friends at all but I understand her better now. Who knows, we may get to a point where we are friends again. For now I am okay with how things are.

B is still B and while I love her and always will I realized that, as I love her I could never be her one and only. Quinn is good for her in a way I could never have been. Quinn is more of a nurturer which is exactly what B needs, and while I know how to kick someone's ass, I've never been too good at it. Besides, I'm beginning to think that just maybe I'm meant for a certain short brunette more so then the tall blonde.

I feel myself smirk as I notice said brunette once again trying to subtly watch me from down the hall again. Once upon a time I would have thought this annoying and right now I can't help but think it adorable.

I close my locker and walk towards Rachel. As I get closer I hear her humming a song. My lip twitch, at least it isn't secret agent man again.

"What ya humming?" I ask in a loud and overly chipper voice.

I laugh to myself as Rachel jumps at my voice before looking at me a little guilty. "I..um.. you see." Rachel starts to stutter before taking a deep breath and letting it out and looking back at me with a beaming smile that causes my breath to catch slightly. "Hi Santana, how are you today?"

"Wow must be some song to have you all stutter like that." I smile to let her know I'm just teasing.

Rachel rolls her eyes. "No, it is a perfectly acceptable song. I just can't seem to remove it from my head at the moment."

I smile at the pout on her face as I continue with my teasing. I arrange my face in to a mock horrified expression. "That is horrible. You can't think of another song to replace it." I can't help but laugh at my own antics.

Rachel rolls her eyes again before glaring at me half heartedly. "Fine. Make fun of the fact that I can't seem to get it out of my head." An expression that means that she is clearly up to no good comes over her face as she smirks before looking up at me from under her eyelashes, a sweet smile plastered over her lips. I stop laughing and take a step back. "Santana, you're so amazing, I'm sure that you could help me get rid of this song. Here I'll sing it to you so you can help find a suitable replacement." My eyes widen and I go to shake my head to stop her but it's too late she is already opening her mouth to sing, which normally I wouldn't mind but I don't want some stupid song stuck in my head too. "I am everything you want, I am everything you need, I am everything inside of you, That you wish you could be…"

I am able to quickly cover her mouth with my own. Of course it had to be one of those songs that gets stuck in your head and never goes away. "Please, no more. I will do whatever you want just please no more singing that song." I feel her lick my hand and I quickly pull away and look at the now grinning diva in shock. "You licked me."

"You put your hand over my mouth." She shrugs before she lifts her hands dramatically and gesturing. "I will not be silenced." She announces before giggling.

I roll my eyes and shake my head before grinning myself. She is so much like a little kid sometimes. "Whatever Miss Lane. Let's just get to class." She tilts her head and looks at me questioning. "You know like Lois Lane, from superman. She was a reporter and the whole think with reporters and freedom of the press not being silently."

Her eyes are big and she is barely holding in her laugh. "Awww, you're a little geeky girl." She says as I begin pushing her to her next class, since she is clearly not going to be moving by herself at the moment."

"I am not." I try and sound tough be even I have to admit it comes out more as a whine.

"Sure you aren't." I can tell she is still smirking. "So if I'm Lois Lane who are you superman, coming in to save my from carrying books and old songs that won't go away."

"Hell no! I'm huntress." The words are out before I can stop them. Well there goes my badassness.

"And who is huntress?" I can tell she is trying not to full on laugh again.

I sigh defeated."Huntress is Batman and Catwoman's daughter in a show called Birds of Prey at least the one I prefer does. Her back-story is different in the comic books." We stop at her classroom and I walk around to look at her. "I could show you if you want. I own the DVDs'. We could hang out or something." I look at my shoes. Just because we seem to be falling into a semi-friendship and I may like her, doesn't mean that she feels the same. The whole I hit her with my car thing doesn't help.

I feel her tug on my hand and I look over at her. She is smiling softly as she looks up at me. "That sounds fun. You could come over to my place, we could have a sleepover marathon and you could teach me all about her. My dad's are gone this weekend and it would be nice to not be alone."

I can feel myself smiling like the dork I just revealed I secretly am as I nod. "Sure, that would be cool." I am trying to play cool but this will be the first time I will have spent time with anyone like that in a while, the first time spending time like that with Rachel ever. I mean yeah, I help with her physical therapy and stuff but that isn't the same.

Rachel nods as the bell rings. "I'll talk to you in glee then." She says as she begins to go in the class.

I nod and turn away so I can get to my own class. It takes me until I've made it to my seat to notice I'm getting odd looks. I then realize I have been humming the song from earlier all the way here. I bang my head on my desk and sigh. Of course. I look around and glare the whole time thinking damn song.


	10. Chapter 10

Like Being Hit By A Car (9/?)

Rating: Pg-13 for now

Warning: This story has triggers.

Disclaimer: I'm a college student. I don't even own the car I'm driving or the house I live in.

A/N: I made the mistake of enrolling in a modern literature class where we are currently reading The Great Gatsby. I already had to suffer through this monstrosity I must call a book in High School. I am not happy I have to read it again. Therefore instead of paying attention I decided to write the next part of this. I hope you like what comes from my boredom and frustration. Also once again never really been good at dialogue and know nothing about the names of therapy excercises.

Part 9

Santana's POV

The Great Gatsby is the stupidest book ever. The idiot who thought it was a good idea to make us read it needs to be shot. I am not just saying this because I want the class to end so that I can start my weekend with Rachel. I am going to her house after school for a Birds of Prey marathon. I can't wait to show her how super awesome Huntress is and yes I am aware of how completely dorky I sound, but I don't care.

The teacher is now going on about the importance of something or other. Honestly I started tuning her out last week when this unit began. I haven't even read more than the first chapter of the book. I am not interested in what the book is about or what the teacher and the other students think in general, let alone about the book. All I want is for that stupid bell to ring before I lose more of my IQ then I have simply by sitting in this classroom.

I feel a sigh of relief when the bell finally rings. I throw my notebook in my backpack and hurry out of class. I already got everything I will need from my locker and head straight for Rachel's locker. I smile when I see the brunette already at her locker.

She is trying desperately to reach in and get something. Considering that she was just tall enough for her locker before the fact she can't stand up to reach anything probably isn't helping.

I walk up behind her and pull out her books. I hand them to her and she smiles up at me in gratitude. "Thank you." She smiles at me. We just stand there for a little staring and smiling.

"Hi San. Hi Rach." I am startled when I hear a voice next to my ear

I jump a little before turning around to see Quinn and Brittany. "I am buying you a bell." I say evenly as I try and get my heart under control.

Rachel and Quinn are laughing while B just jumps enthusiastically. "Can this one be pink? Or better yet duck shaped. Maybe if it was shaped like a duck I wouldn't lose it like I did the last one."

Rachel is now looking at me with one raised eyebrow while Quinn just laughs harder. I sigh. "Yes B. I will try and find you one shaped like a duck." I shoot Rachel a look saying I would explain later to which she just nods.

B jumps more and hugs me before turning to Quinn to give her a kiss. "Did you hear that Quinn? S said she was going to by me a bell shaped like a duck. Do you think that it would be able to call the ducks to me since it will be a duck-bell?"

Quinn just smiles before shrugging kissing B on the cheek and turning back to us. "What are you two up to this weekend?" she asks as if the kiss answered B's question. From the look on her face I think maybe it does.

"Santana is coming over to my house to hang out and watch some movies." Rachel answers for us.

Quinn nods and B gets this grin on her face she sometimes gets when she knows something about someone others don't. She is looking right at me and I can't help but feel confused.

Before I can ask what she knows that I don't Quinn is speaking. "That's cool. B's parents are out of town so we are hanging out at her house. We were going to ask if you wanted to join us." Quinn says the last part semi-awkwardly. She is trying. After our talk she has been trying I'll give her that.

"That's okay Quinn. Santana and I will be perfectly fine on our own. Santana has promised to teach me about Birds of Prey.'

Quinn is looking at me with a smirk and an eyebrow raised. "Oh she has. And what exactly is Birds of Prey."

"Nothing." I blurt out still blushing. "It's nothing just a documentary. You know how I love my birds that prey on other animals." Quinn is still looking at me with that same damn smirk.

"I thought Birds of Prey was that TV show you used to make us watch about those three hot woman with super powers who helped people." B asks confusedly making me hit my head. Of course she would remember that. It's so B to forget things like her address, but remember a that Birds of Prey was a TV show about superheroes. Quinn's smirk gets bigger, but says nothing to which I am eternally grateful.

Rachel reaches out and touches my arm. I turn to look down at her and smile. We turn back to the others and B has that damn grin back on her face. Quinn is also sporting a knowing look as she looks at me. Great, they know something about me, I just wish they would tell me what it is.

"As entertaining as I always find your company, Santana and I have to go. I have to go to physical therapy before we go back to my house and you two have Cheerio practice," Quinn and B nod and lean down to hug Rachel before saying good-bye.

I shut Rachel's locker and we leave as well. I have been taking her to physical therapy. I often wonder how Rachel's fathers feel about me, the reason she has to go to physical therapy, taking their baby. , I wonder if her dads even know that she is hanging out with me. I haven't asked though. I am too afraid to bring it up. Rachel hasn't said anything and I don't know how to ask.

I pull into the parking lot and help Rachel out and into her chair. I go in with her. Since the first time I went with her I have been helping her out. Just because I am no longer a cheerio, that doesn't mean the crazy workout we had to go through isn't still ingrained in me. I help her go through the workouts. When Rachel is doing a workout that I can't help with, I will help some of the other physical therapist with their patients. I have found that I like helping out and it makes me think about doing this for a living.

I smile at Theresa, Rachel's therapist, as I help Rachel get set up on her mat. Theresa comes over and sets up what we will need for the exercise. We are just about to begin when someone comes up and whispers something inv Theresa's ear she nods and asks if I will be alright to help Rachel on my own, I just nod.

She doesn't come back, or at least I don't notice that she is back, until it's time to pack the stuff up. Rachel is resting while I put the weights away; its then, out of the corner of my eye, I notice Theresa leaning against the door. She has the same grin on her face the B had on hers earlier. I'm starting to hate that damn grin. What is it that everyone knows about me that I don't else seem to?

I put the last of the equipment away and she steps forward. She is handing me an envelope. I feel confused before opening it. I take out a check and look at her confused. "You have been helping all of us out. The boss lady noticed. She wants to give you a job. This is what you would have made so far." I try to say something, but can't. I just look at her in shock. A different grin then before crosses her face. "She wants to talk to you more next week. She is busy right. Think about kay kiddo." I only nod dumbly.

We both turn to Rachel who is still laying against her mat. Whatever else I am feeling, thinking, it doesn't really matter as I look at her. I shake myself at that thought. Where did that come from? Before I can ponder that thought more Rachel is opening her eyes and I am moving closer to help her back in her chair. Theresa is helping as well as talking to Rachel about what they will be doing next time and how soon they will start reteaching her how to walk. I allow myself to be lost in the happiness radiating from the smaller girl and forget everything else for now.

Hours later we are at Rachel's house. We stopped to pick up some pizza. We got two large veggie pizzas. I was surprised that it wasn't fully vegan, but Rachel explained that she was thinking of going back to eating meat, that she missed real bread, to which I grinned. I can understand missing certain foods. I was a cheerio, enough said.

We've both eaten way to much and have already watched the first four episodes of the season. The first episode Rachel kept asking lots of questions. As we got more into the second she stopped asking so many questions and was paying more attention to the show.

I had just gotten up to put in a new DVD so that we can start the next set of episode when I hear Rachel's voice. I turn and raise an eyebrow. "What did you say?"

"Do you think I could be like Oracle?" Rachel asks.

"You want to be a former-super-badass-crime- fighter who now trains heroes and knows everything that's going on at anytime anywhere in the city you've chosen to protect?" I ask confused.

Rachel smiles at my dorky ramble. Yes I know I'm being a dork, but I don't care. I've come to the conclusion that I would rather embrace the dork then be alone as a wannabe badass. "While that sounds like fun, I'm talking about the fact that she is still able to be so amazing, even though she is now imprisoned to the whims of a wheel chair." She is now looking down at her hands and I can hear the beginnings of tears in her eyes. I am hit by how much trust she must now have in me, the person who did this to her, to share this level of vulnerability with.

"Rachel I'm sure that you would be just as amazing as she is if you were stuck in the chair." I say confidentially knowing that it's true. "But you won't be stuck in that chair forever. You know what the doctor and physical therapists said. You're going to be able to walk, run even dance just as good as you did before; knowing you even better." I tilt her head up so that she is looking at me. "You are Rachel Barbara Berry. You are the most badass and freakishly determined person I have ever met. You can do anything." I wipe some of the tears that have fallen and chuckle. "You have me being all cliché with the warm and fuzzy pep talk, than you are most defiantly going to walk again. I mean come on, which would you have thought more impossible?"

Rachel smiles and laughs at me words. "I don't know Santana? I mean you are nerdier then I am, what with your love of superheroes and knowledge of said heroes. You're more of an encyclopedia on everything DC and Marvel then I am on the Great Barbara Streisand."

I make a mock offended face as I look at her. "Rachel no one knows more about anything then you do about Streisand." I say flatly as I look her straight in the eyes.

She tilts her head as if thinking before nodding her head. "This is very true." She says gravely before bursting out laughing.

I can't help but laugh with her. I like this Rachel. I like Rachel in general. She is the most amazing her person I have eve-Oh My God. I'm in love with Rachel Berry.


	11. Chapter 11

Part 10

Santana is acting strange. Ever since our sleepover she has been, I don't know, more. She has been more attentive, caring, protective then I have ever witnessed before. I don't even remember her being as protective as she is at the moment with me, with Brittany and from what I have gathered she was in love with Brittany. I try not to think about that part though. To think that would mean thinking that Santana was not only in love with me, but even more in love with me then she was with Brittany, and that is simply impossible.

It's not even that I would mind if Santana felt that way. Not only because of the whole two gay dads, belief in sexuality being fluid thing but because Santana is the most darkly, tragically, broken, beautiful person I have ever meant. I thought this before I was hit. As much as it had hurt when the others would insult or slushy me, it would always hurt more when she said or where involved.

That's another reason I can't dwell on these thoughts, can't believe can't contemplate that Santana could feel anything like that for me. It would destroy me if it was wrong. It could destroy me if it was true. I may have accepted that she hurt me on accident, but that doesn't stop that she did. I know she has changed, finally allowed herself to just be herself, but that doesn't discount everything else. If she did love me, no matter how much I may return those feelings; what would it say if I gave in and we got together? How weak would people think me to be if I were to become involved with the person torturing me? It's one thing to forgive enough to become someone's friend, it's another entirely to become significant others with said person.

I sigh as the bell rings. Another class spent debating Santana instead of paying attention. I gather my books and begin to leave. Just as I make it out of the door Brittany is right there. I smile at the girl. She gives me one of her Brittany mega watt smiles and without a word starts pushing me to my locker. When we get there she helps me get my books. She still has yet to say a word as she helps me to my next class. It is not until I am about to thank her for her help and say good-bye when she stops me and leans down towards my ear.

"She has already been hurt enough. Everyone, even me, have made her sad and still she has protected us. She likes you like I like Q. She loves you. Please don't hurt her. I don't think she could take another person hurting." She pulls back from my ear looks at me seriously, before all traces of intelligence leaves her eyes and she just smiles waves and is gone.

I just sit where I am unable to think of what just happened. I go to my desk and look down at the wood. Why did Brittany have to choose now to say things that make sense? I don't even have to question who or if she is sure. It's Brittany, she may think four plus four equals ice skates, but she always knows the truth of what people are feeling. I sigh and stare blankly as the teacher starts the next lesson knowing that I won't be paying attention to a word that is said.


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (8/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Warning: This story has triggers.

Disclaimer: I just realized that I forgot to add this before but in case there was any doubt I own nothing.

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

A/N: I hope you like this part.

Part 11

Santana's POV

I feel like I'm losing my mind. My heart is beating like I've just run a million suicides while carrying Coach as she screamed in my ear with her blow horn. I had to have that stupid epiphany. I had to realize I was in love with Rachel. It was like being hit with a car. Sure, it's only fair that Rachel hits me with the car of love considering I hit her with an actual one and I can't believe I actually thought up something like the car of love. I have lost my fucking mind.

Ever since I was struck with my realization I have become even more attentive and protective. I know I should play it cool and **not** any different than before, but I can't help it. All of a sudden I want to rip out the throat of anyone who even looks at Rachel wrong, not to mention what I want to do to Finn when he comes into her general area. I mean he messed with her heart and head way more than the rest of us ever did. What right does that Jackass have to go anywhere near **My Rachel**? Oh God I just thought that with capital bold letters.

I slide down the wall in the girls' bathroom, continuing my incredibly depressing thoughts. I don't even remember being this obsessive with B and she was my meant to be. She was, wasn't she? A picture of Rachel smiling flashes in front of my face and I can't help but think that I was wrong about me and B. Sure I love the girl, that will never stop, but what I feel for Rachel is so much more intense.

I hear a knock on the stall door and feel myself start to panic. No, no, no. This is the last thing I need, some random girl to see me that I'm having a mental breakdown.

"Santana?" A familiar voice calls from the other side, even better, not a random girl, but Quinn. I don't really feel like talking to her about all this. I mean yeah we are getting to the point that we could be friends again, but that doesn't mean we are anywhere near the point where we can sit in the bathroom while she tries to calm me down. "Santana open up." Quinn calls again, only this time using her HBIC voice. I stay where I am. "Please. I can help," and now she has gone from HBIC to the pleading best friend I knew before High School.

I sigh, roll my eyes and move enough to unlock the door. Quinn pushes it open comes in and sits next to me. We sit there for a minute in silence before she speaks again. "I locked the door so no one can come in." I just nod. I had remembered to lock the stall but not the door. "You going tell me what's going on?"

I sigh and look up at the ceiling before shrugging. I don't particularly want to talk about this with anyone. It's bad enough that I am saying the words in my own head. I don't think I can say them out loud yet.

"Is this about you liking Rachel?" she asks.

I feel my eyes go wide as I turn to look at her before realization hits me. "You know!"

It's her turn to roll her eyes. "Of course I know." I watch as her lips twitch into that knowing smirk from last week. I hate that smirk. I hate it even more now that I know what she knows. "So what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean what am I going to do? What can I do?" I ask trying and failing to keep the desperation out of my voice.

"You could tell her." She says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Right," I scoff. "I'll just walk right up to her and say 'Hey Rach I know that you forgave me enough to be my friend after I almost paralyzed you but do you think could forgive me a little more and let me take you on a date, because I really like you." I can taste the sarcasm by the time I'm done speaking. Tastes sort of like cherries.

Quinn rolls her eyes next. "Maybe leave out the middle part, but yeah. Why not?"

"Why not?" I am now looking at her in complete disbelief. "Oh, I don't know Quinn, maybe because I Almost Killed Her With My Car!"

Quinn just shrugs her shoulders at that. "So. She forgave you. Besides, it's Rachel. Finn threw slushies in her face and she still went out with him."

"Throwing a slushy in someones face and hiting them with a car is a little different Quinn."

"Whatever." She shrugs again. "What's the worse that can happen from trying?"

"She could tell me sorry she is in love with Puck or someone and sent me home crying, and I'll be so blinded by tears I will accidentally hit someone and almost kill them." I say looking at her dryly.

'Oh come on Santana what are the odds of that happening?" She says with a smile. "…again."

I can't help but let out a short laugh. Before I know it my short laugh has turned into genuine laughter. Quinn is laughing right next to me. We are both laughing so hard we have tears streaming down our faces. Finally, we calm down after restarting a couple times when we looked at each other. I feel like this weight has lifted off me.

Quinn and I get and fix our make up before going to leave. Just as I'm about to open the door I fell a hand on my shoulder and turn around to face a very serious Quinn. "You should tell her San. ' she grins before adding, "You'd be perfect for each other."

I roll my eyes before smiling at her mischievously. "You just don't want me stealing your girlfriend."

She scoffs and pushes me playfully. "Like you could."

I just grin at her. She pushes me again with an eye roll and a laugh before we are both leaving the bathroom and heading to our separate classes. I think it's supposed to be fourth period now. I pull out my phone to check the time. Nope, sixth, shrugging I head to sixth period, which I am pretty sure is science. I wonder if the teacher will let us explode some chemicals today.


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Like being Hit By A Car (12/?)

Rating: It might go up to NC-17

Warning: This story has triggers.

Disclaimer: I just realized that I forgot to add this before but in case there was any doubt I own nothing.

Summary: Prompt from totemokirei Santana was so upset that she did notice Rachel crossing the street. She accidentally ran over her. Rachel survived with minor injuries. But Rachel and most of the club believes that Santana intentionally ran over Rachel. Guilt – ridden, Santana does everything to convince them otherwise. In the process, Santana gets to know Rachel and falls in love with her.

A/N: I am soooooo sorry. I have had severe writers block. That combined with school and life has made this really late. I haven't forgotten, nor given up on the story. I just haven't been able to think of anything to write. Also I have always preferred Dinah with Helena from Birds of prey but for how there nicknames work it looks like it will be more Barbra and Helena. Yes I am a dork and just spoke in that language.

**Rachel's POV**

I was once again watching Santana. Of course this time it has more to do with my newly realized, if slightly unwanted, feelings. Once again I am trying to be discreet. I am even humming the same song. Santana, of course, is completely oblivious as she stands at her locker, headphones on and wearing and endearing smile. Shaking myself as I drift into daydreams that would take away from my impeccable investigation skills, I refocus on what my target is doing. I can't for the life of me figure out what she is smiling at though. The only thing she has hanging up in her locker is a picture of me I insisted, as her friend, she had to have. Tilting my head I tried desperately to figure this out. Just because I don't wish to feel this way for her doesn't mean I can make them disappear. I already tried. I even tried getting someone to hypnotize the feelings away. Of course nothing worked. So I figure I meant to have these feelings and therefore meant to have her. Now I just have to figure out what has made her smile like she is now so that I can replicate it thereby winning her heart.

My eyes widen as she shuts her locker and starts walking towards me. I quickly pull my book closer so it seems like I have been reading it the whole time. So focused on trying to seem like I wasn't paying attention to every move she makes I am genuinely startled when I feel warm breath against my ear followed by her voice. "Stalking me again Oracle?"

Jumping slightly I look up into beautiful dancing eyes with a sheepish smile. "Of course not. I was merely sitting in this spot that just happens to be near your locker that you just happen to be standing at." I try and sound indignant at her accusations. From her chuckles I don't think I pulled it off. I think my acting skills might be getting rusty.

Santana shakes her head at me before pulling a mock serious face. "Of course. You would never stalk me. You were just sitting here. Reading your book. That just happens to be upside down."

"Exactly! I was just sitting here reading my.." Wait, what. I quickly look down and see that my book is indeed upside down.

"You really are the worse spy ever." She says, grinning at me while moving to take the handles on my wheel chair to begin pushing me to the glee room. We both have a free period and decided to spend it together.

If I think about it, ever since we had that sleep over we have been spending more and more time together. Not that I would ever complain. Now that the bitch she was forced to be has been taken away, I find the girl was hiding underneath to incredible. I would never have guessed Santana as a closeted dork. I also never would have realized how incredibly sweet and thoughtful she is. The other day she brought me a flower, just because she said I was looking sad. I find myself too lost in my memories to care that she thinks I'm a horrible spy.

**Santana's POV**

I can't help but smile as I watch Rachel. She was once again attempting to play spy. I have no idea why she was watching me this time, but I can't seem to care. I like having her near me. I like making her smile and laugh. I like her. It's weird. It's like after I finally admitted to myself that I had fallen for her everything else seems to have fallen into place. My friendships with Quinn and B are getting back on track, if not better than they were before. Both girls seem to be on a mission to get me and Rach together, which I really can't complain about. I have a job that could turn into a career at the physical therapy place. I am able to be who I am for the first time since second grade.

My life is okay right now. I am getting better. I have a reason to live. That hasn't been true for a very long time. I have always had people I would live for. I would have died for B. The thing is I want to live for Rachel. She is the Oracle to my huntress. I am the troubled youth wanting to help people after seeing the light thanks to my red headed mentor who I am totally in love with. I can't help but chuckle as my inner dork shows itself again.

We make it to the empty choir room. Rachel is still in lala land. She is being absolutely adorable right now. She has this goofy smile on her face. Her eyes are glazed as she focuses on something else. I let myself watch my little diva and just feel. It's then that I realize something. As good as everything is things could be better. I waited to long to take a chance with B and lost her to Quinn because I was afraid. I am keeping what I feel for Rachel from her because I am afraid of being rejected again. What if my fear causes me to lose Rachel like I lost B?

Looking at Rachel I feel my heart drop at that idea. No. That will not happen again. The worst that happens… well I can't think of what the worst that will happen will be. I force myself to stop thinking. I don't know why, in this random moment I feel the need to tell her, show her how I feel, but I do. Everything is so ordinary. The same thing that has happened for the last couple days and yet my heart has finally decided it has made its decision.

"Rachel." I whisper softly to get her attention. Slowly she breaks out of where ever her mind has wondered and looks at me with a smile. I can't help but allow myself to return the smile before taking a deep breath, dredging up my inner corny romantic. I know anything less would not be worthy of this girl. I lean forward and kiss Rachel, just a light brush of lips against hers before leaning in to whisper into her ear. "I love you." I know that what I did is cliché and corny. I know that this was just another day. I think that's why this is perfect. It's those ordinary days when you need to make extraordinary things happen. I pull back and watch for Rachel's reaction, silently praying it wouldn't be a slap to the face.

**Rachel's POV**

I am still lost in my thoughts of how sweet Santana has been when I hear said girl call my name. It's then that realize we have made it to the choir room. I look up at Santana thinking that she was probably trying to get my attention so that we can practice or study. I smile as I look at her, waiting for whatever it is she is going to say. She smiles back before seemingly stealing herself for whatever she is going to say. Before I can ask or give assurances to whatever is wrong she is leaning towards me. I feel her soft lips brush against my own and close my eyes without thinking my brain freezing. I just barely register her pulling away and whispering in my ear. The words she whispers makes my heart beat hundred times a minute. I am fairly certain I am still dreaming as I try and process everything that just happened.

I can only look into dark eyes before I allow myself to speak. "Santana, do you think you could pinch me?" I ask in a thick voice.

She looks at me like I've lost my mind before tilting her head. "Umm….okay." She looks at me strangely before doing as I ask. I feel a tear fall down. I know I had decided since I had feelings for her I was going to win her over. That did not mean I thought she would like me at all, let alone love me. No one has told me they love me since Finn and he didn't even mean it. My dads' don't even say it anymore. I feel her fingers wipe away my tear as I look at her. "You okay Oracle." She is kneeling in front of me now, looking concerned and a little afraid.

I give her a watery smile. "I'm fine. I just…..It's real. You really said that you love me. My dads'… they haven't even told me that since I was thirteen and they started going on trips. Not in a way were they meant it. But you just said it and your meant it." Suddenly I feel this jolt of fear and I look at Sanatana slightly panicked. "You did mean it right?"

The most beautiful smile I have ever seen comes over Santana's face. Her eyes are shining with an emotion that I sought, but didn't think would be felt for me. She is stroking my cheek with her thumb as she looks at me."Yes. I meant it. I will always mean." She tilts my head a little as she stands up her hand has moved so that she is holding my chin. She has moved forward, I can feel her breath against my lips. "And I will say as often as you wasn't me to if you let me." She leans forward a little more as her lips once again embrace mine. I can't help but return it. I feel like every romantic movie I have ever watched just combined together to make this moment. This beautiful perfect moment and to think, this moment would never had happened if this same girl hadn't hit me with a car.


End file.
